05/20/13: "Marriage & Compromise"

This past Sunday I celebrated my 13^th year of marriage with my beautiful wife.  Many have asked whether it has been a difficult journey, a simple one or both.  Complicated answer is my response.  In all honesty and fairness, it has been a journey full of new experiences, learning lessons and joy.  A marriage is a joint journey, not one that is undertaken  alone.  In my opinion, the formula for success in a marriage is – compromise.  Easier said than done, perhaps, but this is what makes a marriage a success.

 

Now before all the love fanatics go crazy, yes love is also a huge part of the equation and I am not belittling the seriousness  of love – let’s just say love should be a given if you are married.  If there is no love, there is no business being married because it is the foundation that everything is built upon. 

 

Today we talk about compromise.  Is compromise a negotiation?  Is compromise a deal or a contract? 

The answer to those questions really boil down to your particular situation.  In my marriage a compromise can be seen in two ways – 1.) the subject about what is being compromised is spoke to jointly, openly and honestly and a decision is taken amongst the two of us; or 2.) an internal compromise.

Internal compromise? Yes, internal…you see I think the above mentioned idea of compromise is greatly know and taken and seen as described in bullet point 1, but not much is spoken about bullet point 2.  An internal compromise is key to the success of any marriage.  And how exactly do you come to an internal comprise you may ask…well let me try to explain.

 

An internal compromise is reached and obtained by fully knowing your partner.  Knowing what can go wrong before it actually does.  Understanding the “boiling points” of your marriage – those internal combustion items that can cause an immediate explosion!  Even more importantly, being able to identify the above mentioned ‘internally’ – yes in your mind – and actually having the discipline to listen to yourself and avoid those situations.  This has now become an internal compromise with yourself.

 

An internal compromise means self sacrifice, making a decision that may not be popular for yourself but popular for your love – these internal compromises are not shared…that is why they are internal.  They are kept between yourself and that little voice in your head.  That little voice that at times we need to do a better job of listening to…😃

 

Marriage has a lot of journeys and adventures.  Many ups & downs.  It will be full of great times, good times and not so good times.  A marriage is held together by the unity of two individuals under one God with one love.  It takes work.  It needs to be managed.  It needs to be nourished and attended.  Marriage is the ultimate gift God has bestowed upon us. 

Take care of your spouse and compromise – both jointly and internally!

 

“Marriage: Love is the reason. Lifelong friendship is the gift. Kindness is the cause. Til’ death do us part is the length.” 
-Fawn Weaver

05/03/13: “Fatherly Values"

Recently I posted a picture on Facebook for #tbt. It was a picture of my dad holding me in his arms. We were at my grandmother’s house (or as my cousins and I called it “Ma’s house) and the picture was taken in 1981. I was a newborn, no older than 1 and one of the few pictures that I have together with my dad to this day. I treasured every moment that I spent with him. My father passed away on November 2nd, 1999. I had recently graduated from high school and had merely began embarking on my college life and adulthood – so I thought… but I am not here today to talk to you about my life. I am here to discuss the one value of life that was very significant to me and that was instilled in me by my dad. This value is so important to my life and it is only fitting that I share with you.

Hard working:
My father had his own company that he started in 1970. It was called “Proveedora Mexicana de Nuevo Laredo.” He was so proud of his store. He would tell me stories of how he began his business by selling lemons out of a bicycle eventually evolving to plumbing fixtures, then eventually with the help of Dr. Esteban Alejo beginning his business in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico. At the pinnacle of this business, my father expanded his business to be the number 1 hardware store in Nuevo Laredo with multiple business ventures with the City. He expanded his business to Monterrey Mexico where he opened “Tuberias y Conneciones del Noreste.” He was successful – but his success did not come by opportunity. His success was a direct effect of his hard work and passion in his business. Hi endless work hours, battles with the traffic crossing from the US to MX every day, his dedication to always be the man to open at 7 AM and last to leave and close at 7 PM. His constant hard work to pursue new business, innovate his business to not stay behind with new technologies or innovations led him to his success. At the time (during his life), I did not understand why he always had to be at work. I would constantly ask myself, why doesn’t he just come home early; why can’t he make it to my games; is his business that important? The answers to all those questions are now very loud and clear and comprehendible. He was a hardworking man for his family. He provided us with everything we had and did not want us to lack anything. He worked for us, for me, for his family.

As 13 years have passed since his death, I only wish to be as hard working and dedicated as my dad was during his time. His unrelenting pursuit of excellence is astonishing. He taught me never to be satisfied, never to become complacent and always to take the necessary, measured risk to achieve reward. He taught me that one must “Seize the moment!” Opportunity may only come once and you must not let it by. He taught me that no matter what anyone says, you control your own destiny. He taught me that anything is achievable once you set your mind towards achieving it!

So my message to you is:
Life will not be easy; Life is hard, tough and at times uncertain; But through hard work and dedication – YOU can achieve anything!

Final Quote:
“Nunca te des por vencido, nunca!”
- Emilio Villarreal

04/21/13: "Faith"

Recent tragedies have filled this past week. Events such as the Boston Marathon Bombings, the Explosion in West Texas and severe earth quakes overseas. As these events occurred, I could not but help and look back and remind myself of my faith. That same faith that was instilled in me by my parents, grandparents and uncles. Faith is a necessary must to live a life full of joy, love and hope. The hope to one day be reunited with all our loved ones.

Faith was taught to me by my grandparents and parents - primarily by my "Ma & Papa" (maternal grandparents). They were devout Catholics but besides that always had faith in God and were never scared to put their faith, life and love in God. They would always tell me, "Trust God and let Him guide you!"

Those words are still very much alive in my everyday life, but certain things, events such as those mentioned earlier hit hard and really make you think - when is it our time? Am I ready? Have I done all that I need to do?

The answers that came quickly was to put my faith, life and love in God's hands. He will take me and guide me to my future and only he has control. Being able to have this faith has helped me overcome many circumstances in these "older" years of my life. It has made me wiser and more understanding. Although at times I feel as I must have control of everything in my life, I understand that I do not have control of my own life.

God has my life in his hands and I am prepared and ready to carry out his mission.

2 Corinthians 5:7
We live by faith, not by sight.

04/12/13: "Wealth!"

Wealth by definition is: the abundance of valuable resources or material possessions (Wikipedia). So are you wealthy? Is being wealthy having the abundance of material possessions? Is being wealthy having luxurious cars, enormous houses and Rolex watches? By definition, I guess that could be correct, but I guess the correct question to ask yourself is do you feel wealthy? Are you HAPPY with your “wealth?”

In my now 32 years of life I have encountered various scenarios, mixed emotions and valuable lessons. One thing that I can always remember though was my father telling me that money doesn’t make you happy – and I have always been happy. So then, what is correct? Perhaps we need the definition of happiness or perhaps even better the secret to be happily wealthy…does it exist?

Happiness, as also defined by Wikipedia, is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. Key word: Positive! In recent years, I’ve had the good fortune to attend several seminars and workshops but one person in particular has made an impact in my way of thinking – thinking POSITIVE – thank you Ernesto Benavides (www.ernestobenavides.com). I believe that thinking positive is the KEY starting point to achieving happiness and as a result PERSONAL wealth. Yes, I purposely wrote personal in caps since wealth can be defined as an “abundance of valuable resources.” To me, this valuable resource is – happiness!

So now that we begin to analyze everything by definition and begin to look for the root causes of each of the different states of being, we can begin to see and layout a path to achieve the goal or answer to our original question. Are you following me? Did I leave you behind somewhere? Let’s recap:

Wealth can be seen, by definition, as the abundance of a valuable resource OR material possession. Key word is “OR.” Which is important to you – the abundance of a valuable resource or the material possessions. In my particular case, the valuable resource that I consider to be wealthy is “HAPPINESS!” Furthermore to achieve happiness I must always be in a POSITIVE state of mind since happiness is defined as being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions…YES it all does make sense! If I am positive, I will be happy and see all happiness life has to offer me. If I am happy then I have achieved my personal wealth since I have an abundance of happiness in my life!

So now ask yourself these questions: (1) Are you wealthy? (2)What is your idea of wealth and why?

Quote to live by:
“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence”
- Aristotle

04/05/13: Manager Vs Leader - Which Are You?

Two weeks ago I had the good fortune to attend a workshop for high performing leaders out in Chicago, Illinois. The 3 day workshop focused on several aspects of management, leadership and other topics relevant to the above. Not too long before attending the workshop I had taken some time to work on and develop my personal brand. For those of you not familiar, a personal brand is a group of adjectives which can best describe you from peers or yourself. The personal brand that I developed was: "Motivating, Strategic, Manager & Coach." I was pleased with my PB and updated accordingly. Fast forward back to the Chicago workshop and our instructor (Mark Balzar & his team), which by the way were excellent, inspirational and motivating, began to speak about managers Vs leaders. They began to point out significant differences between a manager and a leader. Then I began to analyze and critique my PB - was I a "manager" or "leader?" After not much debate, I quickly came to the realization that I miss worded my personal brand and in fact should read - leader!

So, what are the differences? Well, there are several but the main difference I noticed and perhaps the most important is: a Leader is someone who will motivate and inspire and a Manager is someone who will control.

In my line of work as an Operations Manager, my job is not to control people, but rather to motivate, inspire and engage our associates to our company's vision and goal. As a direct result, we will achieve customer satisfaction and Operational Excellence!

So, yes I have updated my PB and now reflects accurately that I am a leader not a manager, but have you asked yourself the same: Are you a manager or a leader?

Final quote:
"People work for managers; they follow leaders."

10/22/12: "Food for Fuel"

So I am about to turn 32 this coming December and well my metabolism isn't quite the same as it was when I was 18.  I never thought the day would come that I would mention or catch myself saying the phrase above, but it is true.  Fortunately I found CrossFit Laredo and now recently the Whole 30 program or Whole9life.com with its community and respective blogs.
I like anyone else enjoy junk food.  However, I now realize the consequences of eating it all the time.  Carmen and I just recently finished our first Whole 30 experience and were both very excited about the changes that we felt.  Whether it was our energy level, mood, restful sleep or just kicking ass in CrossFit - the benefits were well worth the sacrifice.  Sacrifice? Well not really...
You see, it was not until we completed the program that we realized just how important good quality foods are and their purpose.  Yes - food is fuel for your body!  Feed it junk and it will produce junk in return in all aspects whether you look at your immune systems failures, skin, energy or athletic performance.  Eat junk and you get junk.  More importantly, once our bodies were exposed to the correct healthy foods that we should eat it began to reject the junk - leaving us feeling sick, bloated and with nausea.  It is truly amazing to listen to your body and its signals and learn how to be in sync with your own body.
I enjoyed the experience so much and the health benefits associated with the transformation that just yesterday we invited our family to participate in a Whole 30 experience to share the love and health benefits - yes that means we are going to do it again as well!
With all this said, in summary my simple advice is: Listen to your body, take care of your body and feed your body the fuel it needs for top performance.
Quote of the day: (actually an exerpt from "It Starts with Food" by Dallas and Melissa Hartwig -
"We eat real food – meat, fish, eggs, vegetables, fruit, healthy oils, nuts and seeds. We choose foods that were raised, fed and grown naturally, and foods that are nutrient-dense, with lots of naturally occurring vitamins and minerals.
This is not a 'diet' – we eat as much as we need to maintain strength, energy, activity levels and a healthy body weight. We aim for well-balanced nutrition, so we eat animals and a significant amount of plants.
Eating like this has helped us to look, feel, live and perform our best, and reduces our risk for a variety of lifestyle-related diseases and conditions."

10/08/2012: Energy!

Under great pressure many people fold or do not know how to handle the situation.  Some people are reluctant to push through, others avoid the situation and place it on hold.  In my experience it is best to confront the situation and analyize all possible outcomes.  This is not to say to over analyize but rather see the possible consequences and results of each possible scenario and play it out step by step.  Much like a game of chess - think out the plan in advance and anticipate your opponents moves.

Easier said than done, of course - that's why it's life.  If life was that easy, well, existance would not be as it is here and now - reality.  Advice:  Think through each scenario; anticipate and decide.  Great leaders are leaders that make a educated decision, can pull the trigger and then adapt and playout their decision and have the ability to improvise if needed.  However, you do not give yourself the opportunity to show your leadership if you never move forward with your decision.  If you take to long, someone else will move forward without you, your decision or your idea.

Everything comes from within.  You must be fundamentally sound in order to make your decisions.  Believe in yourself and in your family.  Surround yourself with people that you can learn from and listen to - advice is very important and listening is very underrated.  Anything can be acheived with commitment and dedication!  There are no limits - you are your only limit to success!

Quote of the day: "If you're internested, you will do what is convenient; if you're committed, you'll do whatever it takes.
-John Assaraf