05/20/13: "Marriage & Compromise"

This past Sunday I celebrated my 13^th year of marriage with my beautiful wife.  Many have asked whether it has been a difficult journey, a simple one or both.  Complicated answer is my response.  In all honesty and fairness, it has been a journey full of new experiences, learning lessons and joy.  A marriage is a joint journey, not one that is undertaken  alone.  In my opinion, the formula for success in a marriage is – compromise.  Easier said than done, perhaps, but this is what makes a marriage a success.

 

Now before all the love fanatics go crazy, yes love is also a huge part of the equation and I am not belittling the seriousness  of love – let’s just say love should be a given if you are married.  If there is no love, there is no business being married because it is the foundation that everything is built upon. 

 

Today we talk about compromise.  Is compromise a negotiation?  Is compromise a deal or a contract? 

The answer to those questions really boil down to your particular situation.  In my marriage a compromise can be seen in two ways – 1.) the subject about what is being compromised is spoke to jointly, openly and honestly and a decision is taken amongst the two of us; or 2.) an internal compromise.

Internal compromise? Yes, internal…you see I think the above mentioned idea of compromise is greatly know and taken and seen as described in bullet point 1, but not much is spoken about bullet point 2.  An internal compromise is key to the success of any marriage.  And how exactly do you come to an internal comprise you may ask…well let me try to explain.

 

An internal compromise is reached and obtained by fully knowing your partner.  Knowing what can go wrong before it actually does.  Understanding the “boiling points” of your marriage – those internal combustion items that can cause an immediate explosion!  Even more importantly, being able to identify the above mentioned ‘internally’ – yes in your mind – and actually having the discipline to listen to yourself and avoid those situations.  This has now become an internal compromise with yourself.

 

An internal compromise means self sacrifice, making a decision that may not be popular for yourself but popular for your love – these internal compromises are not shared…that is why they are internal.  They are kept between yourself and that little voice in your head.  That little voice that at times we need to do a better job of listening to…😃

 

Marriage has a lot of journeys and adventures.  Many ups & downs.  It will be full of great times, good times and not so good times.  A marriage is held together by the unity of two individuals under one God with one love.  It takes work.  It needs to be managed.  It needs to be nourished and attended.  Marriage is the ultimate gift God has bestowed upon us. 

Take care of your spouse and compromise – both jointly and internally!

 

“Marriage: Love is the reason. Lifelong friendship is the gift. Kindness is the cause. Til’ death do us part is the length.” 
-Fawn Weaver

05/03/13: “Fatherly Values"

Recently I posted a picture on Facebook for #tbt. It was a picture of my dad holding me in his arms. We were at my grandmother’s house (or as my cousins and I called it “Ma’s house) and the picture was taken in 1981. I was a newborn, no older than 1 and one of the few pictures that I have together with my dad to this day. I treasured every moment that I spent with him. My father passed away on November 2nd, 1999. I had recently graduated from high school and had merely began embarking on my college life and adulthood – so I thought… but I am not here today to talk to you about my life. I am here to discuss the one value of life that was very significant to me and that was instilled in me by my dad. This value is so important to my life and it is only fitting that I share with you.

Hard working:
My father had his own company that he started in 1970. It was called “Proveedora Mexicana de Nuevo Laredo.” He was so proud of his store. He would tell me stories of how he began his business by selling lemons out of a bicycle eventually evolving to plumbing fixtures, then eventually with the help of Dr. Esteban Alejo beginning his business in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico. At the pinnacle of this business, my father expanded his business to be the number 1 hardware store in Nuevo Laredo with multiple business ventures with the City. He expanded his business to Monterrey Mexico where he opened “Tuberias y Conneciones del Noreste.” He was successful – but his success did not come by opportunity. His success was a direct effect of his hard work and passion in his business. Hi endless work hours, battles with the traffic crossing from the US to MX every day, his dedication to always be the man to open at 7 AM and last to leave and close at 7 PM. His constant hard work to pursue new business, innovate his business to not stay behind with new technologies or innovations led him to his success. At the time (during his life), I did not understand why he always had to be at work. I would constantly ask myself, why doesn’t he just come home early; why can’t he make it to my games; is his business that important? The answers to all those questions are now very loud and clear and comprehendible. He was a hardworking man for his family. He provided us with everything we had and did not want us to lack anything. He worked for us, for me, for his family.

As 13 years have passed since his death, I only wish to be as hard working and dedicated as my dad was during his time. His unrelenting pursuit of excellence is astonishing. He taught me never to be satisfied, never to become complacent and always to take the necessary, measured risk to achieve reward. He taught me that one must “Seize the moment!” Opportunity may only come once and you must not let it by. He taught me that no matter what anyone says, you control your own destiny. He taught me that anything is achievable once you set your mind towards achieving it!

So my message to you is:
Life will not be easy; Life is hard, tough and at times uncertain; But through hard work and dedication – YOU can achieve anything!

Final Quote:
“Nunca te des por vencido, nunca!”
- Emilio Villarreal